2011/05/29

Baby Food, Tractors, Rat Poisoning

I root for Fucking Madrid to lose to any fucking Italian team to lose to Chelsea to lose to Manchester United to lose to (once upon a time) Liverpool to lose to Bayern Munich to lose to Arsenal to lose to Barca to lose to very soon City to lose to anybody else, and holyfuck, did Manchester United look like old yellow British teeth next to Barcelona's fabulous smile.

Hey! Did you know Washington DC has a professional soccer team?




It's true! and they're playing this afternoon at motherfucking five o'clock, though it's not their fault this time since the game is in Portland Oregon.

Hey, advice sought! Three weeks from now I'm flying to England with Earthgirl and Planet and three of Planet's friends. Before you begin wagering on whether this will be the best ten days or worse ten days of my life tell me, what do I need to do to set up rental cell-phoning in England, what's the best, most reliable vis a vis $$$ (reliability trumps) cell phone option. Any suggestions welcome.


















MY GREAT UNCLE ETC, PATRICK HENRY

James Tate

There's a fortune to be made in just about everything 
in this country, somebody's father had to invent
everything--baby food, tractors, rat poisoning.
My family's obviously done nothing since the beginning
of time. They invented poverty and bad taste
and getting by and taking it from the boss.
O my mother goes around chewing her nails and
spitting them in a jar: You shouldn't be ashamed
of yourself she says, think of your family.
My family I say what have they ever done but
paint by numbers the most absurd and disgusting scenes
of plastic squalor and human degradation.
Well then think of your great great etc. Uncle
Patrick Henry
.