2012/01/31

Clapping for When, Not If




Screaming across the front of Your Fucking Washington Post as I type this:

U.S. spy chief: Iran willing to attack on U.S. soil

U.S. intelligence agencies believe that Iran is prepared to launch terrorist attacks inside the United States in response to perceived threats from America and its allies, the U.S. spy chief said Tuesday.

Director of National Intelligence James R. Clapper Jr. said in prepared testimony that an alleged Iranian plot to assassinate the Saudi ambassador in Washington that was uncovered last year reflects an aggressive new willingness within the upper ranks of the Islamist republic to authorize attacks against the United States.

Perceived threats to Iran? Those irrational, militaristic, and barbarian Iranian terrorists, defending themselves from perceived threats.


Some Days Settle So That Nothing Crosses the Horizon










CLOSING HOURS

Ann Lauterbach

This trace, if it exists, is alms for delusion.   
An arch uncurls from the floor
scented with the scent of a tapestry, housed here.   
I recall the hour but not its passage
unless dream captures and ties it to sleep:
a fat bellhop smiles, shows me to the tower   
where I can watch the departure.
But some days settle so that nothing
crosses the horizon; stare as I will, no star   
needles the air. Now I am left
on the outskirts of a forest hemmed in by wheat   
where plump trees hide the image, its symmetry   
shot up and blown across the ground like feathers.   
The unicorn, the grail, blue and red wings   
of kneeling musicians, these are embroidered   
elsewhere. Perseverance was crowned.
Hope and Pity prayed for success.
How fast is this camera? Can it record a trace?   
There was a voyage. Four mounted horses   
strain against centuries.
To each is allotted: dust kicked up, smoke, plumage.


2012/01/30

This Is Regret: Or a Ferret

So I liked the music (and the headers), anyway. I've always wanted music to play when the blog is accessed, and, in combination with a sudden and liberating inability to write about POTUS 12 and motherfucking Democrats and motherfucking Republicans and motherfucking pwoggles and motherfucking crackers and especially about who can and can't criticize motherfucking Israel in run-up to Uncle attacking Iran, when I discovered the play-automatically function at soundcloud I decided to wtf the weekend here and enjoyed myself thoroughly. There are logistical issues - I do still love most of you, so I'll not detail them here - though auto-music will return occasionally. There were major bleggal issues raised, and while I do still love most of you, I can only promise not to luxuriate on them here on a one-day-at-a-time basis.










TURN OF A YEAR

Joan Houlihan

This is regret: or a ferret. Snuffling
stunted, a snout full of snow.

As the end of the day shuffles down
the repentant scurry and swarm -

an unstable contrition is born.
Bend down, look into the lair.

Where newborn pieties spark and strike
I will make my peace as a low bulb

burnt into a dent of snow. A cloth to keep me
from seeping. Light crumpled over a hole.

Why does the maker keep me awake?
He must want my oddments, their glow.


2012/01/27

the only committee member unenthusiastic regarding this proposal is an optometrist who has raised the issue of eye damage if the typeface of the lines of verse on the underpants were too small

I needed attend my 666th copyright webinar today, I said at Thursday Night Pints, that's how my day was. D, K, and L sighed, muttered fuckers beneath breath, face-palmed, a universal sign of resigned weariness in academia: Fair Use Fair Use Fair Use Fair Use, webinarians are here to demand you use it while they refuse to define it. No, it was good, I said, one of the presenters was as smart and precise at not telling us anything (including a two minute burlesque with the other presenters that what they were giving us "is not legal advice") as anyone I've needed endure over the past five years, and he sounded just like Paul Harvey!





I said, I couldn't stop giggling, every time one of his colleagues tossed the presentation to him, I wanted him to say, Hello Americans, Stand by.... for NEWS! Was he as big an asshole as Paul Harvey, asked L. I've no idea, I said, all he said was This is the current status of best practice use of fair use's indefineability re: academic library's liability, though this is not legal advice, just in Paul Harvey's voice. Christ, Paul Harvey was an ass, said D. Who was Paul Harvey, asked K, and the old people made her pay the entire check.









the library of t-shirts

Joanne Burns

in order to upgrade the communitys appreciation of poetry during the international year of cultural enrichment stage 2, members of the state’s library progress committee decided to establish a small library of t-shirts on which would be printed quality verse in vivid, bold colours and lettering. the poems would be selected on the basis of one of three qualities: is the poem poignant, perspicacious, or pithy.

given the respectably researched fact that the wearing of words on t-shirts expresses a deep psychic desire for an intimate union of word and flesh, (and bear in mind the way logo nudges towards logos) it is not surprising that this library of t-shirts has been a great success. no one seems to mind borrowing pre-worn clothing. of course the librarys washing and ironing staff maintain the t-shirts in excellent condition. even after ten borrowings the shirts look brand new. and considering the phenomenal success of andrew lloyd webber’s “cats” it is no shock revelation that t.s. eliots hollow men has proved to be the librarys most popular t-shirt so far. in fact there are now eight copies of this shirt on loan, most in metallic or fluoro colours.

a couple of the more entrepreneurial of the library’s progress committee members are leading the push for diversification of the library’s poetry program, into neck to knee anti-uv swimwear, with maybe slessor, shelly and stevie smith prints for starters; and into underpants, with their multiple attractions.

while the committee feels both these garments could increase poetry’s appeal, they are worried about the practicability of adding these garments to the t-shirt poetry collection. would many members want to borrow preworn underpants, however compelling the poems’ cadences and metaphors; while the wear and tear on the swimming costume fabric via chlorine and salt water would perhaps be too great. however they are interested in marketing and selling these articles from a stall in the library’s foyer. the only committee member unenthusiastic regarding this proposal is an optometrist who has raised the issue of eye damage if the typeface of the lines of verse on the underpants were too small. a solution in the form of large print haikus is being considered.


2012/01/26

How a Man, with Such a Belly Could Pose, Smiling, without a Shirt









BUDDHIST BARBIE

Denise Duhamel

In the 5th century B.C.
an Indian philosopher
Gautama teaches "All is emptiness"
and "The is no self."
In the 20th century A.D.
Barbie agrees, but wonders how a man,
with such a belly could pose,
smiling, without a shirt.


2012/01/25

Theme Songs 4:40 PM EST January 25, 2012




Not this here joint and not real life, which leaves.... Also too:


Head Hissing Static








LIMBO: ALTERED STATES

Mary Karr

No sooner does the plane angle up
than I cork off to dream a bomb blast:
A fireball roiling through the cabin in slo-mo,   
seat blown loose from its bolts,
I hang weightless a nanosecond
         in blue space

then jerk awake to ordered rows.
And there’s the silver liquor cart jangling   
its thousand bells, the perfect doses   
of juniper gin and oak-flavored scotch
         held by a rose-nailed hand.

I don’t miss drinking, don’t miss
driving into shit with more molecular density   
than myself, nor the Mission Impossible
reruns I sat before, nor the dead
space inside only alcohol could fill and then   
         not even. But I miss

the aftermath, the pure simplicity:
mouth parched, head hissing static.
How little I asked of myself then—to suck   
the next breath, suffer the next heave, live   
till cocktail hour when I could mix
         the next sickness.

I locked the bathroom door, sat   
on the closed commode, shirtless,
in filmy underpants telling myself that death   
could fit my grasp and be staved off   
while in the smeary shaving glass,   
I practiced the stillness of a soul
         awaiting birth.

For the real that swarmed beyond the door
I was pure scorn, dead center of my stone and starless   
universe, orbited by no one. Novitiate obliterate, Saint   
Absence, Duchess of Naught . . .
A stinging ether folded me in mist.

Sometimes landing the head's pressure’s enormous.   
When my plane tilts down, houses grow large, streets
lose their clear geometry. The leafy earth soon fills my portal,   
and in the gray graveyard of cars, a stick figure
becomes my son in royal blue cap flapping his arms   
as if to rise. Thank god for our place
in this forest of forms, for the gravitas
that draws me back to him, and for how lightly
         lightly I touch down.

2012/01/24

Spooky Wood Looking




Lake Tahoe, new video, off Kate Bush's 50 Words for Snow.

Offer Your Usual Posy of Goatheads

I still haven't watched a GOP candidate debate (I'm told last night's was missing the Red Meat Glee Club in the audience, so it must really have sucked). I won't watch or listen to Emperor Obama's State of the Union, POTUS 12 edition, tonight, though the predictable keywords he'll use will have you drunk after ten minutes if you're Hi-Bobbing the speech, and the post-SOTU reaction from professional partisans to partisan fan clubs down to shitty bloggers, as we all inhabit precisely-enough the positions we all reflexively adopt, just as predictable. Witness this post.












DEAR DROUGHT

Amy Beeder

Offer your usual posy of goatheads. Proffer
sharp garlands of thistle & Inca's thin down;
of squash bugs strung on blighted stems; send

back necklaced every reeking pearl I crushed,

each egg cluster that I scraped away with knife
or twig or thumbnail. Wake me sweat-laced
from a dream of hidden stables: the gentle foals

atremble, stem-legged, long-neglected. Dear
drought our summer's corn was overrun again
with weed & cheat; the bitter zinnias fell to bits.

Dear yearlings our harvest is lattice & husk.


2012/01/23

Even Apolitical Poems Are Political











CHILDREN OF OUR ERA

Wislawa Szymborska

Translated by Joanna Trzeciak

We are children of our era; 
our era is political.

All affairs, day and night,
yours, ours, theirs,
are political affairs.

Like it or not,
your genes have a political past,
your skin a political cast,
your eyes a political aspect.

What you say has a resonance;
what you are silent about is telling.
Either way, it's political.

Even when you head for the hills
you're taking political steps
on political ground.

Even apolitical poems are political,
and above us shines the moon,
by now no longer lunar.
To be or not to be, that is the question.
Question? What question? Dear, here's a suggestion:
a political question.

You don't even have to be a human being
to gain political significance.
Crude oil will do,
or concentrated feed, or any raw material.

Or even a conference table whose shape
was disputed for months:
should we negotiate life and death
at a round table or a square one?

Meanwhile people were dying,
animals perishing,
houses burning,
and fields growing wild,
just as in times most remote
and less political


2012/01/20

The Dead Man Has a Grassy Disposition But No Cow Stomach for Flappy Leaves and Diced Croutons

It seems to me, said K at Thursday Night Pints, that the anti-SOPA drama is useful in that it reinforces memes about Corporate that Occupy has been banging, doesn't it? I'd mentioned it had not gone unnoticed that google didn't run a stunt and nobody blacked out their sites or feeds when Obama signed the NDAA, so whack with the hypocrisy stick if you participated in any SOPA protest. Did you see the Post story about how an Occupier confronting Romney will help Romney in South Carolina, asked D. There are multiple meanings of the word prop, I said, winning last night's shot of ridiculously priced Scotch, which I turned down, my prop hops-based.









THE BOOK OF THE DEAD MAN

Marvin Bell
Live as if you were already dead.
                          Zen admonition
1. About the Dead Man and Food

The dead man likes chocolate, dark chocolate.
The dead man remembers custard as it was, spumoni as it was, shave
          ice as it was.
The dead man talks food with an active tongue, licks his fingers, takes
          seconds, but has moved on to salads.
It's the cheese, it's the crunch of the crunchy, it's the vinegar in the oil
          that makes a salad more than grass.
The dead man has a grassy disposition but no cow stomach for flappy
          leaves and diced croutons.
The dead man remembers oysterettes as they were.
He recalls good water and metal-free fish.
Headlights from the dock drew in blue claw crabs by the bucketful.
A flashlight showed them where the net lay.
If they looked bigger in the water than in the pail, they grew back on the
          stove.
It was like that, before salads.
The dead man, at the age he is, has redefined mealtime.
It being the quantum fact that the dead man does not believe in time, but
          in mealtime
.

2. More About the Dead Man and Food

The dead man's happiness may seem unseemly.
By land or by sea, aloft or alit, happiness befalls us.
Were mankind less transfixed by its own importance, it would be harder
          to be happy.
Were the poets less obsessed with the illusion of the self, it would be
          more difficult to sing.
It would be crisscross, it would be askew, it would be zigzag, it would be
          awry, it would be cockeyed in any context of thought.
The dead man has felt the sensation of living.
He has felt the orgasmic, the restful, the ambiguous, the nearly-falling-over,

          the equilibrium, the lightning-in-the-bottle and the bottle in shards.
You cannot make the dead man write what you want.
The dead man offers quick approval but seeks none in return.
Chocolate is the more existential, it has the requisite absurdity, it loosens
          the gland.
The dead man must choose what he ingests, it cannot be anything goes
          in the world the world made.
So we come back to chocolate, which frees the dead man's tongue.
The dead man is every emotion at once, every heartbreak, every falling-
          down laugh riot, every fishhook that caught a finger
.


2012/01/19

While I Might Trust the Doctor to Remove a Splinter or Lance a Boil, I Do Not Believe He Has the Knowledge to Restore a Brain

This guy sums up the present crystalline structure of his sociopathy. It doesn't help that this is his sister-in-law:





Truly, in the Mt Rushmore of inside baseball jokes because it's true. Found it when looking for something else (if anyone can find and send me Joel, Crow, and Servo arguing whether you can say dickweed on TV, I'd appreciate it muchly - and h/t you too), was going to save that, but fuck it, somebody turned off the internet yesterday and forgot to turn it back on today, plus I could use a heh.

I’m Sitting Here Dialing My Cellphone with One Hand, Digging at Some Obscure Pebbles with My Shovel with the Other

I don't really daydream of braining Dis Chrodd with a shovel, though I do hope to give him the finger someday. This is true: I do work for his brother who teaches at Hilltop, an urbane and respectful guy (relative to the coordinates on power's grid he and I, um, occupy vis a vis me and other powerful dickweeds I need deal with*). I'll introduce you to my brother, he told me when I'd told him in 2004 I was driving to Harrisburg on election day to canvas for Kerry, He genuinely appreciates loyal Democrats like me, Dis Chrodd's brother told me. So when I say I daydreamed of braining Dis Chrodd with a shovel I really don't daydream of braining Dis Chrodd with a shovel, nor do I daydream of braining me, the rube of the story who I was implying truly deserves braining with a shovel: Dis Chrodd is still happyfat being Dis Chrodd. He was that happyfat when I'd have voted for him in 2008 instead of McCohn Jcain.










CROSSROADS IN THE PAST

John Ashbery

That night the wind stirred in the forsythia bushes,
but it was a wrong one, blowing in the wrong direction.
“That’s silly. How can there be a wrong direction?
‘It bloweth where it listeth,’ as you know, just as we do
when we make love or do something else there are no rules for.”

I tell you, something went wrong there a while back.
Just don’t ask me what it was. Pretend I’ve dropped the subject.
No, now you’ve got me interested, I want to know
exactly what seems wrong to you, how something could

seem wrong to you. In what way do things get to be wrong?
I’m sitting here dialing my cellphone
with one hand, digging at some obscure pebbles with my shovel
with the other. And then something like braids will stand out,

on horsehair cushions. That armchair is really too lugubrious.
We’ve got to change all the furniture, fumigate the house,
talk our relationship back to its beginnings. Say, you know
that’s probably what’s wrong—the beginnings concept, I mean.
I aver there are no beginnings, though there were perhaps some
sometime. We’d stopped, to look at the poster the movie theater

had placed freestanding on the sidewalk. The lobby cards
drew us in. It was afternoon, we found ourselves
sitting at the end of a row in the balcony; the theater was unexpectedly
crowded. That was the day we first realized we didn’t fully
know our names, yours or mine, and we left quietly
amid the gray snow falling. Twilight had already set in.


2012/01/18

A Shovel Clanging Off Paving Stone



This is true: what motivates me most to protest SOPA is the thought that while my daydream of braining Dis emeffing Chrodd with a shovel will never come true, may his head figuratively explode when SOPA fails. Also, sork wucketh mightily with pissilarity and this is my scream, but Yay! wanna hear some new Magnetic Fields and new Lambchop? Also, Yay! this poem where this post's title is taken from. Also, Yay! we might drive out to Bamgier to take Planet to dinner Saturday night, meaning more deserted rural interstates! and potential new paintings by Earthgirl!


Codify, Draw, Proceed, Prosecute, Reinterpret, Enter, Institutionalize, Oversee, Wage, Invoke, Preside, Attempt, Reauthorize, Select



(1) Codify indefinite detention into law; (2) draw up a secret kill list of people, including American citizens, to assassinate without due process; (3) proceed with warrantless spying on American citizens; (4) prosecute Bush-era whistleblowers for violating state secrets; (5) reinterpret the War Powers Resolution such that entering a war of choice without a Congressional declaration is permissible; (6) enter and prosecute such a war; (7) institutionalize naked scanners and intrusive full body pat-downs in major American airports; (8) oversee a planned expansion of TSA so that its agents are already beginning to patrol American highways, train stations, and bus depots; (9) wage an undeclared drone war on numerous Muslim countries that delegates to the CIA the final call about some strikes that put civilians in jeopardy; (10) invoke the state-secrets privilege to dismiss lawsuits brought by civil-liberties organizations on dubious technicalities rather than litigating them on the merits; (11) preside over federal raids on medical marijuana dispensaries; (12) attempt to negotiate an extension of American troops in Iraq beyond 2011 (an effort that thankfully failed); (13) reauthorize the Patriot Act; (13) and select an economic team mostly made up of former and future financial executives from Wall Street firms that played major roles in the financial crisis.

Yawn, motherfucking Obama. I'd darken the blog in SOMA protest but fuck if I'm pasting html code, I'm a codedope, I'd fuck up the blog. Consider this my protest.


2012/01/17

Born Sixty-Three Years Ago Today

How Bright Colors Dim in Artificial Light




  • I am not at Occupy Congress. This is the busiest time of year for me at work, and I had to choose between taking last Friday off to abandon my daughter at college in Ohio or taking today off to protest Corporate's assholosity, and my daughter won (and will win every time).
  • Wiki blackout. How do I "darken" my twooter feed?
  • SOPA stopped?
  • Brief respite on SOPA and Iran?
  • The location of culture, part two.
  • War is peace.
  • Motherfucking crackers. I have tried - am trying - to limit the number of these, but sometimes it needs to be said.
  • Sancta Santorum.
  • The straits of America.
  • The invisible Great Recession.
  • Bleggalgaze!
  • Serendipitously, just a day after I was thinking to myself that I'm getting bored with the green, a reader comments that the baby blue I use for quoted material is hard to see on his reader. My google reader makes every blog white even if it's another color in real life. Not that I can see the blog ever going white, but suggestions solicited for both background color and quoted material color.
  • How does the red look both here and on reader?
  • Once again, I must have been number four.
  • Science Monday! on Tuesday.
  • In love, his grammar grew.
  • Found the CD this morning looking for something else:





WITH DRIZZLED WARM BUTTER, INTENSELY RENDERED

Dick Allen

What every painter knows, but most others forget
is how bright colors dim in artificial light

and lobster tastes most fresh
the closer to death
you set your teeth into the lobsters flesh.


2012/01/16

Born Eighty-Nine Years Ago Today




MORE LIGHT! MORE LIGHT!

Anthony Hecht
For Heinrich Blucher and Hannah Arendt
Composed in the Tower before his execution
These moving verses, and being brought at that time
Painfully to the stake, submitted, declaring thus:
"I implore my God to witness that I have made no crime."

Nor was he forsaken of courage, but the death was horrible,
The sack of gunpowder failing to ignite.
His legs were blistered sticks on which the black sap
Bubbled and burst as he howled for the Kindly Light.

And that was but one, and by no means one of he worst;
Permitted at least his pitiful dignity;
And such as were by made prayers in the name of Christ,
That shall judge all men, for his soul's tranquility.

We move now to outside a German wood.
Three men are there commanded to dig a hole
In which the two Jews are ordered to lie down
And be buried alive by the third, who is a Pole.

Not light from the shrine at Weimar beyond the hill
Nor light from heaven appeared. But he did refuse.
A Luger settled back deeply in its glove.
He was ordered to change places with the Jews.

Much casual death had drained away their souls.
The thick dirt mounted toward the quivering chin.
When only the head was exposed the order came
To dig him out again and to get back in.

No light, no light in the blue Polish eye.
When he finished a riding boot packed down the earth.
The Luger hovered lightly in its glove.
He was shot in the belly and in three hours bled to death.

No prayers or incense rose up in those hours
Which grew to be years, and every day came mute
Ghosts from the ovens, sifting through crisp air,
And settled upon his eyes in a black soot
.


Of the multiple benefits I've enjoyed as both a student and employee of Hilltop, studying with Tony Hecht for five years is by a large margin the most personally fulfilling and rewarding. I've told the stories here before - if you'd like to hear them for the first time or hear them again, send me an email, I'll go dig up the links.


SESTINA d'INVERNO

Here in this bleak city of Rochester,
Where there are twenty-seven words for “snow,”
Not all of them polite, the wayward mind
Basks in some Yucatan of its own making,
Some coppery, sleek lagoon, or cinnamon island
Alive with lemon tints and burnished natives,

And O that we were there. But here the natives
Of this grey, sunless city of Rochester
Have sown whole mines of salt about their land
(Bare ruined Carthage that it is) while snow
Comes down as if The Flood were in the making.
Yet on that ocean Marvell called the mind

An ark sets forth which is itself the mind,
Bound for some pungent green, some shore whose natives
Blend coriander, cayenne, mint in making
Roasts that would gladden the Earl of Rochester
With sinfulness, and melt a polar snow.
It might be well to remember that an island

Was blessed heaven once, more than an island,
The grand, utopian dream of a noble mind.
In that kind climate the mere thought of snow
Was but a wedding cake; the youthful natives,
Unable to conceive of Rochester,
Made love, and were acrobatic in the making.

Dream as we may, there is far more to making
Do than some wistful reverie of an island,
Especially now when hope lies with the Rochester
Gas and Electric Co., which doesn’t mind
Such profitable weather, while the natives
Sink, like Pompeians, under a world of snow.

The one thing indisputable here is snow,
The single verity of heaven’s making,
Deeply indifferent to the dreams of the natives,
And the torn hoarding-posters of some island.
Under our igloo skies the frozen mind
Holds to one truth: it is grey, and called Rochester.

No island fantasy survives Rochester,
Where to the natives destiny is snow
That is neither to our mind nor of our making.


UPDATE!

 LISTEN TO THIS! Thanks Brad.

Light Another One, the Vainglorious Interstate, Dusk and Ash - the Long Silver Tooth



We left Zanesville at 6:30 yesterday morning and were home by 12:15, three pitstops included. I drove from Zanesville to just east of Hagerstown on almost ghost roads; there was a ten mile stretch on 70 east of Cambridge just after 7:00 when I didn't see another car in either direction then another ten miles when I caught up to a semi and a semi headed west. The sky was pink. From Friendsville uphill on 68 to Keysers Ridge just after 9:00 I passed a car and a truck, saw nobody - nobody - heading west until east of the exit to Oakland. The sky was turquoise.




Driving on rural interstates early Sunday morning, it was beautiful, it was spooky, the roads, the backseat, empty. We talked about how we will sell our house and move to wherever our grandchildren are living if they're not living near us, how we'll not buy the farm at the bottom of Sidling Hill and build a disc golf course, raise alpacas and sell their wool.




  • The Occupations in Winter.
  • Why Chris Hedges is suing Obama.
  • Of course it's terrorism.
  • The myths of multiculturalism.
  • Fred Hiatt plays dumb, shits himself shitting you.
  • Official new Villager meme: Romney = Gore.
  • Even more Ron Paul and the progressives.
  • It's not about Ron Paul, it's about you: The United States keeps killing innocent people, keeps propping up horrific regimes, keeps violating international law, keeps trampling on the lives of those who lack the power to defend themselves-- but Ron Paul is a racist, and believes in the gold standard, and opposes abortion, and in general supports some of the most odious domestic policies imaginable. What I insist, and what people like Glenn Greenwald keep insisting, is that Ron Paul's endless failings shouldn't and can't exist as an excuse to look away from the dead bodies that we keep on piling up. What I have wanted is to grab a hold of mainstream progressivism and force it to look the dead in the face. But the effort to avoid exactly that is mighty, and what we have on our hands is an epidemic of not seeing.
  • Did you know Washington DC has a professional soccer team? It's true, and they're pissing me off and creeping me out both alternatively and simultaneously.
  • Me and my dogs.
  • Found an old CD case before the trip, hadn't listened to Beth Orton or Mojave 3 in a few years:





INTERSTATE SONNET

Carl Marcum

A cigarette kiss in the desert. The wind-proof arc
of flame sparks inside the speeding Buick. Menthol:
a break from the monotony of highway nicotine—
most intimate of drugs. Make this mean sorrow
or thermodynamics, whatever small gesture
there is time for. Light another one, the vainglorious

interstate dusk and ash—the long, silver tooth.
This shirtless abandon, this ninety-mile-an-hour
electric laugh. The edges of windshield, haphazard
chatter. The clatter of the hubcap and the thunderclap:
the white-hot retinal memory of your life as a Joshua tree.
Permanence in the passenger seat. This long haul,

this first drag—nothing like cinnamon, nothing
like the iron taste on the back of your mortal tongue.



2012/01/14

Feeling Utterly Evacuated, Yet Methodically Structured








MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE DESIGN OF CITIES WILL BE THE DESIGN OF THEIR DECAY

Tessa Rumsey

                                      Where did you grow, before your roots took hold in the garden?
Curiouser and curiouser, this allegiance you seem to have with rocks.
Bluish blooms bathed in perfection, the moon shines fresh as you melt away
.

*

Loneliness is a laboratory; its territory is forever defined; for reasons beyond our conviction
It cannot be lessened; only
redirected and made to resemble a crumbling heaven or the year’s
Grand delusion:
I shall no longer want for that which left me long agogo slow, said the soul,
That you may know the streets of your abandoned city more intimately than any joy
Or cherished season. We were in collusion, this city and I, creating a mythology of desolation;
Feeling utterly evacuated; yet methodically structured; in a post-Roman Empire; previously
Doomed sort of way—and what did the soul say, but
know it better, then in a fever, go deeper.
There are days, I told the translator, when the veil drops and I am no longer inside the No-
Place most familiar, built by me long ago, and I walk through the world as if made real
By the existence of others and the casual way a crowd pauses together on a concrete curbside—
Perhaps one of them is weeping, perhaps another will gently reach out and twist a knife
Into my heart and we will lock eyes, and I will fall to my knees, and for a moment
He will hold me. What will I remember? The cold blade’s cruel demeanor? My body
As it seizures? Or the gesture of my destroyer, showing me that in this life, I was not alone
.