HEY! New Sea and Cake. Longtimers can vouch I've always love love love. DOUBLE HEY! They're playing Black Cat October 24! I already have my and Earthgirl's tickets, let's eat dinner first then go to the show! Tickets are only $15, they're general admission, so hurry!
A taxonomy of dog-owners and dogshit from my neighborhood's listserv:
No way to phrase this delicately, but this is not a tasteful subject:
MOST Dog Walkers know that DOG POOP does NOT belong in RECYCLING CONTAINERS.
WHOEVER you are who doesn't know OR doesn't care: we're so pleased that you're taking the trouble to "scoop the poop". But would it be that much more trouble to carry your bag of scooped poop back to your own home and trash cans? We don't appreciate your dumping it in our containers full of green recycling -- and the county employees who have to deal with the aftermath won't either.
MOST dog walkers are GOOD NEIGHBORS, with a FEW UNFORTUNATE EXCEPTIONS:
(1) OPPORTUNISTS: TRASH DAY brings out the opportunists who can't resist the attraction of an open container full of brush, standing at the curb, waiting for pickup. Ah, so convenient, and who will ever notice?
(2) BRAZEN OPPORTUNIST: A fortunately RARE SUB-SPECIES of #1.
He/She operates on ANY DAY of the week, and before dawn.
His/Her MODUS OPERANDI - based on our post-discovery, Sherlockian deductions, made in the light of day:
Walks up our driveway, past our parked car; then throws bag of scooped poop in one of our partially-filled green-recycling containers;
Exits our driveway by walking across our property, then across our neighbors' lawn and driveway, back to the sidewalk.
To these FEW UNFORTUNATE EXCEPTIONS in the dog-walking community, whether you are:
(1) A Simply Thoughtless OPPORTUNIST,
OR
(2) An Enterprising AND Trespassing BRAZEN OPPORTUNIST,
Please STOP dumping your dog's poop where it doesn't belong!
The NEIGHBORS you pass on your dog-walking route will thank you for being more considerate;
AND
Your FELLOW DOG WALKERS will thank you for NOT besmirching their reputation!
The person who wrote this lets his kids cut through our yard down the hill through Earthgirl's garden. Haha, boys! gosh I'm sorry, get in the car, over and over. Fine metaphors abound.
- Double-avoidance of a monologue!
- Anti-anti-parasitism.
- In defense of Graeber's Debt.
- Occupy your victories.
- 70 million psychopaths are rediscovering there is profit in ecological disaster.
- An impressive list of motherfucking Obama's accomplishments.
- Standard operating procedure.
- Inner peace.
- Easy but good.
- The asshole monologues.
- Palpably gloomy and openly frustrated. There's a reason Romney is the GOP nominee.
- Holyfuck, the expectations for Romney in the debates will be so low, unless he flips out and attacks Obama with a fountain pen it's going to be considered a minor victory.
- No.
- And yet, Obama's fading. I wish the opinion polls offered a fuck'em both option, it'd be, what, 80%?
- Romney as Kerrey.
- Motherfucking crackers. Next door, yes. If only that papyrus had referred to my neighbor's imaginary friend Jesus' wife Donald.
- Fuck blooger. They threw the switch, the old template is gone, the new blooger totally fucks up html editing if you tubes have been posted, it doesn't show the codes, so fuckity.
- I'd like to slow-cook blooger.
- Today's Shostakovich for his birthday next Tuesday.
- Anyone read Keith Ridgway? I've been seeing his name.
- A take on the future of the novel.
- The event of thought.
- Punishment and resentment.
- Marianne Moore reading.
- Will Oldham words of wisdom.
gigantic mountains
Brandon Scott Morrell
when aliens come to the earth
they will land on top of gigantic mountains
they will see the people everywhere
each alien will communicate telepathically with another alien
on the opposite side of the sphere
that is its clone and itself at the same time
like an atom in quantum physics
the same alien in two places at once
and this multiplied by millions
on top of gigantic mountains
'the strategy is to destroy humans'
each alien will tell itself and its clone
humans will understand this strategy once
the killing started, immediately happening
in two places on opposite ends of the world at
once, an alien and itself
murdering two humans by looking at their faces
then that happening repeatedly or something
for some amount of time
the humans falling over and their faces hitting the pavement
or the carpet, or the grass
or the side of a coffee table
or some dog shit
*
there will be resistance
soldiers on all parts of the earth will fight with lasers
citizen militias will hold resistance meetings
a resistance against death
a no-death resistance
a movement for death later
a movement for a different, still-uncontrollable death
'humans don't want to die this way'
will be their manifesto, one sheet of paper
or a piece of cardboard or something
*
there will be humans in basements looking at each other
wandering, solitary humans that want more to find another human than to avoid dying
solitary, severely depressed and/or enlightened humans that commit suicide by seeking out alien faces and looking at them; these humans may feel happy inside an insane nervous breakdown
humans that kill other humans because they feel insane
humans that sit in a corner, feeling extremely small, maybe considering intense killing rampages/some indefinable, positive emotion for humanity
humans that watch tv, use the internet to read the newspaper, and drive their cars around; they will be motionless on couches with their eyes open
*
the fish and insects and trees
will have the ocean and the forest
pretty sure they won't care
